They’re So Sorry
7 April 2009
–by Mike Murray
It’s become commonplace, this political malarkey. You know what I’m talking about: the infamous, overwrought apology. When an elected official says he or she is sorry – and emotes while doing so in a fashion worthy of Oscar consideration – fetch the salt, folks. Because you’ll surely be needing a grain or two. And while you’re at it, pull up your hip boots, too; you’re about to go wading through the deep stuff.
In very few instances are politicians sincerely repentant for things they’ve said or done. Most often, the remorse they express following serious screw-ups is related to the fact that they got caught. For that, they are truly sorry.
Then there is the second kind of dodge: the non-apology apology. This is the type that appears to be an act of contrition, but is really nothing of the sort. At such times, slick pols offer mea culpas that involve lots of culpa, and hardly any mea at all.
Following an embarrassing faux paux, for example, a politico will typically offer something like this: “I’m sorry that you were offended by…” Did you catch the ruse, the clever turn of phrase? The politician is not expressing sorrow for his own act: a hateful utterance, an unethical deed. No, what he’s actually doing is shifting the blame onto you – and apologizing on your behalf. He’s apologizing not for what he’s done – but instead for the way in which you chose to interpret it (“I’m sorry that you were offended by…”). In such cases, the sharpie hopes that you won’t notice that he’s accepting no culpability whatsoever.
When it comes to taking credit, politicians are all about “I.” In the matter of assigning blame, however, it’s all about “you.”
Which leads to the third absurdity: the apology offered for someone else’s misdeed. This type of “apology” is the most galling of all, since it usually is employed to curry favor. It is a way of elevating oneself at the expense of others.
President Bill Clinton, recall, once issued a blanket apology to African Americans. The reason? Slavery. It mattered not to Slick Willie that none of the people to whom he was apologizing had ever, themselves, been held in racial bondage. Nor that no living white person in America – not a single one – had ever “owned” another human being. All that mattered to Clinton was that his gesture (one that cost him nothing) was sure to net him increased support among black constituents.
Which brings us to 2009, and to our current president: Barack Obama. Standing on foreign soil recently, he, too, made apology for America’s past mistreatment of “people of color.” The head of America’s executive branch of government further trashed his compatriots by calling us “arrogant” with respect to a supposed, collective attitude toward Europeans. He also accused us of being “dismissive” and “derisive” toward our neighbors across the pond.
And for all this, he wanted the world to know, he was sorry. He was oh-so sorry. For other people’s sins and shortcomings.
While I have occasionally been perturbed with a European resident over some very specific issue, I have never stooped to wholesale, boorish characterization of an entire continent (or of an entire race, either, for that matter). Moreover, if I ever do, Mr. President – and so genuinely have something about which to be contrite – I will speak for myself, thank you very much.
Even when it comes to apologizing for oneself (that is, in expressing remorse for one’s own behavior), there are apologies and then there are apologies. Here’s a rule of thumb. If someone says plainly and simply that he’s sorry that he offended you, he probably is. If, however, he says that he’s sorry that his words offended you, not so much. And if he says that he’s sorry that you, in essence, chose to “take offense” at something he said, he’s not sorry at all.
In fact, he’s hoping that you’ll conclude that it is you who owes him the apology. Got it? You owe him an apology for being annoyed. And for letting your pique create a “distraction.”
Copyright © 2009 Michael F. Murray All rights reserved.
